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Posts tagged “Kids

Moms Can Be Amazing


Moms can be amazing. A woman with two very young hyperactive sons sat opposite me in the cafe about twenty minutes ago and, boy, what a challenge she had stopping them knocking everything over. Then suddenly she says to the younger who is like two years old: “Is it time to go to the toilet?” to which his cheerful response was: “Yes”. And I thought: “How did she know?”. They leave. Five seconds later I smelt the poo in his pants.

(Un)Craven Attention

Bullies come with little brains. I think this as I observe a young family walk down the street. The little boy is a spark of sorts. It’s a wonder how this four-year old, or so he seems, skipping alongside his mum thinks he can catch the adroit pigeon scooping breadcrumbs from the ground or that he can recapture the balloon that slipped through his fingers. He watches, helplessly and with wonder, the yellow ball of air drift unquestionably sky-bound and the way the inflated rubber is bouncing in the wind looks suspiciously like a victory dance, a celebration of being free of the little rascal. As his mother pauses to look at a shop window bargain he makes a face at his older sister and from her reaction I am pretty sure this is a mask he has worn before to mother’s disapprobation.

One of my great regrets is being unable to remember not just what pretty thoughts I contemplated when I was still a child but how I actually thought – the process by which I laid down Napoleonic schemes to outfox my watchful father for my mother’s limited and, therefore, precious attention. Was I aware of cause and effect; pride and punishment; id and super-ego? And so when I see how that little boy pushes his sister so he can be the one next to mum I know that there is more than dutiful innocence in those puppy green eyes. No puppy he is; he is riotously naughty. He knows exactly what he wants and no sister, for love or punishment, will stand in his way. Perhaps he’ll turn out alright in the end. I did.

Our Right To Use The Willow Cane

Does anyone have a ‘right’ to beat their children? The brain has this amazing ability to disconnect from reality, reason or common sense. Check this out:

  1. Journalist infiltrates The Twelve Tribes, a secretive sect, and films adults in a cellar beating six children with a total of 83 strokes of the cane. He filmed 50 beatings in total.
  2. The authorities turned up and took the children away.
  3. Disconnect from reason:
    The sect community is “very shocked. We feel it’s outrageous for them to take 40 children from their parents. We are a peaceful people …. “
  4. Disconnect from reality:
    “We believed we need to do what is right in God’s law rather than what the law of any land or state said.”
  5. Disconnect from common sense:
    The group’s children are educated on the site. The Twelve Tribes “don’t believe in higher education.”

It’s not uncommon for parents to aver: “I know best how to raise my child” and this is usually excused by all. But really? Common experience shows most people are dissatisfed with some element of their upbringing. What is certain is that parents do not always know the best way to bring up their kids. The sins of parents are legion:

  • not giving enough love, time or attention
  • spoiling children
  • being poor role models
  • encouraging or not stopping bad manners
  • abuse (oral, physical, neglect) – and in extreme cases: beating kids to death, pouring acid on them, honour killings, exorcism or some other such weird ‘cultural’ or ‘religious’ practice
  • marrying off kids to grandpas
  • neglecting or denying proper education including teaching lies (e.g. creationism)
  • the list goes on.

No doubt most parents mean well and try their best or rather try to the best of their knowledge and abilities but that’s not the same as knowing what’s best for a child. . And there lies the question: who knows what’s best for anyone else?

Secretly I think some behaviour deserve a good beating (contrary to some people’s experiences ‘a good beating’ can also do a lot of harm but sometimes some kids are just asking for a beating). But at what point does confronting bad behaviour move from correction to punishment? Who draws the red line? Can parents be trusted? The State? The religious authorities? Social workers?

Read all about it here:

The Serpent’s Ballad

Bo, Bo, Boa Constrictor
Slithering down the street
Hissing merrily, humming “Verily,
Kids are such a treat”