Thought this was funny. Taken from Don DeLillo’s book Underworld:
So this guy’s on his honeymoon in Acapulco and he’s heard all the stories about the incredible cunning of Speedy Gonzalez, the fastest lover in Mexico, and he’s frankly worried, he’s a highly nervous type and so on the first night, the night of nights, he’s in bed with his wife and he’s got his middle finger plugged up her snatch to keep Speedy Gonzalez from sneaking in there when he’s not looking. So then he’s dying for a smoke and he reaches over for a second to get his cigarettes and matches. So then he lights up quick and and reaches back to the bed finger-first. And Speedy Gonzalez says, Sen-yor-or, you got your finger up my a-ass.