alea iacta esto

Be Full Of Fear, Haughty Viruses

I had come to take for granted good health. After all, it’s been three years, likely more, since I last had the common cold. I’m talking about you nefarious rhinoviruses and siblings. Oh yes, I stayed safe from you mutating rascals what with your sniffing around like Lucifer seeking whom to devour. I’m acutely aware the world has since become besotted with your deadlier cousin, the flu. Bird flu. Swine flu. But you, coy and demurely tame, you common cold, bringer of blocked nostrils, septic throats and sore headaches. You deflowerer of a man’s peace of mind I grant you this, you broke through nature’s defenses. The busy bee that you are, you are right now at work hijacking my DNA and replicating your RNA with greed even as I write this blog. Somewhere in virus heaven an ill god is gambolling hysterically, drunk on flubrosia.

I admit I got used to walking jolly down the street shaking my head at hypochondriacs, those peripatetic visitors from the Far East with mouths and noses covered behind handkerchiefs. OK, I was also a little careless with the scarf around my neck, but only a little. As it is no man-made antibiotic or vaccine will eradicate these pesky viral parasites. If I were a visualizer I would see my cells secreting interferons as a line of defense. In high definition I would see B and T cells working in concert with natural killer cells all engaged in a mighty battle. These chivalric Knights Exemplar of the Immune System are bringing pillage and destruction to the rabid mob of viruses. And they will be helped by my secret weapon: sleep. Because that’s what’s happening tonight. If you viruses had hearts you would feel and know fear. For there can only be one winner. Me.

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